Fuck Around And Find Out

Children Of Israel Are Never Alone

Hey, beloved tribe.

I hope you’re all having a decent week. Midway through it, I’m reminded of that ancient Chinese curse: May you live in interesting times.

I don’t need to tell you that for those of us paying attention, there’s never a dull moment around here. The geopolitical chessboard of the Middle East is changing faster than most of us can keep up with. There’s a lot of noise right now about the potential mistake Israel is making by taking this opportunity to destroy so many of Syria’s military capabilities.

So you’ve probably figured this out by now, but for good measure, let me state for the record that while I might worry, or fret, or clutch my head, or tear at my hair, or even seethe with fury over some of the things Israel does, I stop short of presuming any right to be prescriptive in my response.

To put it another way: I may live in Israel yet, but I don’t now, and there is no universe in which I have any business dictating what Israel should or shouldn’t do from the relative safety of the U.S.

Having said that, I also just have to admit that I don’t share the consternation. HTS is a radical and violent Islamist group, on the U.S.’ list of terrorist entities. I do not think Israel should trust them with Syria’s weapons or military capabilities. I think the Jewish nation was in all likelihood very smart to seize the opportunity presented by this moment.

I’ve said this before but I’ll reiterate it now: my favorite military analyst who specializes in the Middle East is Malcolm Nance, of the podcast Black. Man. Spy. I subscribe to his newsletter, Special Intelligence, in which he had this to say today:

Israel comes out on top as the fall of the Syrian Government meant the end of its role as a "confrontation state" that started in 1948. Technically, Israel has no enemy nations on its borders as of this week. To guarantee that, Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu implemented a massive war plan that had been sitting on the shelves for decades. In 24 hours, every airbase, aircraft, air defense system, ammunition dump, and naval vessel that belonged to the Syrian armed forces was blitzed and destroyed. Let me say that again: as of this writing, there is no longer a Syrian Air Force, Air Defense, Navy or surviving Army ammunition depot… The loss of the Syrian armed forces means that the biggest dog in the Middle East, with the sharpest teeth, is now Israel.

Nance also describes the staggering setbacks suffered by Iran in this equation within a similarly gratifying summary:

But the beginning of the end for Iran [came as a result of] supporting the October 7, 2023 HAMAS-led terror attack on Israel and then backing Hezbollah terrorist operations from Lebanon. They directly threatened the lives of 70,000- civilians who had to leave their homes.

Iran gave Iraqi and Yemeni terrorist groups drones and ballistic missiles to launch at Israel. Feeling that the time was ripe to strike Israel directly, Iran launched hundreds of ballistic missiles, cruise missiles, and drones at Israel in April and again in October 2024. They were both a failure, as they caused virtually no damage and expended almost their entire inventory.

But Israel was preparing secret weapons of its own that had far more import. They executed a brilliant intelligence operation that literally decapitated Hezbollah's top 3,000 members by bomb-laden pagers, then sent the Air Force to assassinate the highest-level leadership. Then the Israelis set about destroying virtually every weapons depot, and worse, blowing up the banking administration that was paying the salaries and bribes to the surviving fighters and their families. These actions neutralized Hezbollah in a matter of weeks.

Now, with the loss of the entirety of Syria, Iran no longer has a foothold west of Baghdad by which to intimidate Israel. It is suffering a systemic collapse of the four-and-a-half-decades-old Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps operations, which have been reduced to hightailing it back to Iran proper.

I heartily recommend reading the whole newsletter (though it’s lengthy) as well as everything else Malcolm Nance has to say. He is a formidable expert on the topic, a phenomenal friend of the Jews, and a salt-tongued, sharp-witted, mightily entertaining character who never tires of bitch-slapping Israel haters into oblivion.

And he provides a very detailed analysis of the Syrian picture, explaining why the huge losers are al-Assad (obviously), Russia, and Iran, while the unequivocal winners are Israel, Syria, Saudia Arabia and “Smiling Joe Biden”.

The TL;DR version: the decision to launch and/or participate in the October 7th massacre brought about the death and destruction of just about everyone involved while Israel levelled up in the most dramatic way imaginable.

And politically speaking, the poetic justice of this is the sweetest thing I’ve tasted in 15 months.

Honestly, I have a hard time seeing any of Israel’s current measures in Syria in a negative light. HTS owes much of its current victory to Israel. I think making sure they can’t repay the favor with violence and destruction is an excellent idea.

There are 57 Muslim countries in the world to house a global population of 2 billion Muslims. I’m perfectly willing to believe the vast majority of them aren’t violent fundamentalist Islamists — per Pew Research, only 25% of them fit this description.

But that’s still hundreds of millions of violent, fundamentalist Islamists.

Whereas there are only 15 million Jews in the entire world.

Call me a hasbarist, a hawk, or a Zionist shill — I’ve been called all that and much worse. But it’s my belief that Israel can only survive by sending one continual, consistent, uncompromising message in the face of every violent, eliminationist attack:

Come for our citizens, our civilians, our elderly, our women, our children, and we will knock you so hard you’ll have no idea what just hit you all the way back into the fucking dark ages.

I'm Elissa Wald, and I approve this message.

Okay, fam. I’ll be back with you on Friday and I have an incredibly special Jews Of The Universe column in the works, one that I hope and believe will charm, delight and inspire you.

Until then, I send you all my love.

Chazak v’ematz.

Am Yisrael Chai.