Profound gratitude for YOU. Every essay you write finds me nodding in profound agreement and often in relief, for you perfectly articulate the things I’m thinking, feeling, perseverating over, but haven’t the time or clarity to write. And even if I did, the whole point is that it’s hearing these things come from another human — from you! — that creates connectedness, allays isolation, sometimes soothes and clarifies, and other times activates and clarifies, but always leaves me feeling less alone, which really is everything. Having just stepped into a far more hands-on caretaking role with my aged mother, I’m also identifying with this piece you posted. I find this work I’m doing, with my beloved sister, to try to set up our mom for a smoother, healthier, less financially-stressed advanced age, is bringing me closer to her and far more at peace in our relationship than I’ve been since early childhood. We get what we give. Thank you for all you do with this Substack.
Sweet Elissa - it is due to YOU that J (and every other recipient of the fund) received this amazing assistance. I understand that many of us contributed financially, and that provided the funds, but without you - without your passion, your empathy, your holy soul, none of it would have happened.
So thank you for everything. You are a light in this dark world.
I find that usually if you're scared or nervous to post something, that usually means you should do it--because it needs to be said, and most likely others feel similarly but are afraid to say so.
Brilliant work on the storage problem. That $350/month bleeding out was a trap keeping her in the cycle, and most caseworkers wouldn't push that hard. I've seen similar situations where people hold onto stuff because it feels like the last anchor to stability when everythign else is unstable. But breaking that feedback loop where storage costs prevent sustainablity is genuinely life-changing intervention work.
You have been such a light for me in this dark time. I appreciated your last two essays so much, and wish there were more voices speaking with your moral clarity and good judgment. It makes me feel less lonely and “politically homeless”!
It's amazing what you've done for that woman. I ended up getting financially entangled with this woman and her adult disabled daughter who were living in motel rooms, had 2 dogs, and two storage units. I kept trying to find her public assistance, and housing. I failed every time. She was a friend of a friend of mine on FB, I'm not sure she actually knew our common friend, but when she poured her troubles out one day, I responded. I made a go fund me for her but people weren't generous so it didn't help. I got kind of stuck responding to her crisis needs, sending Venmo cash here and there for gas, motels, etc. After a few years, I told her I had to cut her off. I still feel sick about it. She was originally housed, and once her landlord kicked her out (I think because he was selling the house), she never could get it together to get housing again. She also had a long list of medical problems. It was such a mess. She wouldn't let the storage units go, because that was all her belongings, and the storage bills were keeping her in poverty. Tragic.
Any of us could end up in J’s predicament, but not everyone cares to consider that, nor to help. I am grateful for all the ways you contribute to our greater Jewish community, and for your transparency and forthrightness.
I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way. But I feel it's disrespectful not to learn from their stories to recognize the signs and patterns and fight them for all we're worth. We see this very differently and that doesn't make me feel betrayed by you so I hope in time you can take our different perspectives less personally.
I am genuinely sorry you feel that way. That might be gaslighting if I owed you an apology for seeing the situation in the polar opposite way, but I don’t. You are the one being abusive because of a difference in perspective. Peter and I are real-life friends and I adore him but we don't need to be in lockstep on every issue and he's clearly okay with that too. You are certainly entitled to your feelings but this space never has and never will devolve into the vitriolic rhetoric we encounter on social media and everywhere else. If you can't respect that, I'll need to end your time in this community.
Profound gratitude for YOU. Every essay you write finds me nodding in profound agreement and often in relief, for you perfectly articulate the things I’m thinking, feeling, perseverating over, but haven’t the time or clarity to write. And even if I did, the whole point is that it’s hearing these things come from another human — from you! — that creates connectedness, allays isolation, sometimes soothes and clarifies, and other times activates and clarifies, but always leaves me feeling less alone, which really is everything. Having just stepped into a far more hands-on caretaking role with my aged mother, I’m also identifying with this piece you posted. I find this work I’m doing, with my beloved sister, to try to set up our mom for a smoother, healthier, less financially-stressed advanced age, is bringing me closer to her and far more at peace in our relationship than I’ve been since early childhood. We get what we give. Thank you for all you do with this Substack.
Sweet Elissa - it is due to YOU that J (and every other recipient of the fund) received this amazing assistance. I understand that many of us contributed financially, and that provided the funds, but without you - without your passion, your empathy, your holy soul, none of it would have happened.
So thank you for everything. You are a light in this dark world.
I find that usually if you're scared or nervous to post something, that usually means you should do it--because it needs to be said, and most likely others feel similarly but are afraid to say so.
Brilliant work on the storage problem. That $350/month bleeding out was a trap keeping her in the cycle, and most caseworkers wouldn't push that hard. I've seen similar situations where people hold onto stuff because it feels like the last anchor to stability when everythign else is unstable. But breaking that feedback loop where storage costs prevent sustainablity is genuinely life-changing intervention work.
Thank you so much for sharing this and for your previous two essays.
How uplifting. Way to have a meaningful impact, Elissa -- on J. and on each of us reading here. You inspire, truly.
You have been such a light for me in this dark time. I appreciated your last two essays so much, and wish there were more voices speaking with your moral clarity and good judgment. It makes me feel less lonely and “politically homeless”!
Thank you for posting. Is there a way to donate to the fund now or in the future? I forget if you had posted a link or anything previously
Wonderful mitzvah you have done!
Please don’t let the person on here who couldn’t respectfully disagree with you get to you.
I personally do not think you are wrong at all (sadly, as no one wants to be right about this)
https://www.jta.org/2026/01/30/united-states/jewish-seniors-rally-behind-their-caregivers-as-350000-haitians-are-set-to-lose-legal-status
It's amazing what you've done for that woman. I ended up getting financially entangled with this woman and her adult disabled daughter who were living in motel rooms, had 2 dogs, and two storage units. I kept trying to find her public assistance, and housing. I failed every time. She was a friend of a friend of mine on FB, I'm not sure she actually knew our common friend, but when she poured her troubles out one day, I responded. I made a go fund me for her but people weren't generous so it didn't help. I got kind of stuck responding to her crisis needs, sending Venmo cash here and there for gas, motels, etc. After a few years, I told her I had to cut her off. I still feel sick about it. She was originally housed, and once her landlord kicked her out (I think because he was selling the house), she never could get it together to get housing again. She also had a long list of medical problems. It was such a mess. She wouldn't let the storage units go, because that was all her belongings, and the storage bills were keeping her in poverty. Tragic.
Any of us could end up in J’s predicament, but not everyone cares to consider that, nor to help. I am grateful for all the ways you contribute to our greater Jewish community, and for your transparency and forthrightness.
Bless you 🙏 I've only been following your posts for a short time, but you definitely make the point that the name of your Substack blog says!
What holy work you're doing!
I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way. But I feel it's disrespectful not to learn from their stories to recognize the signs and patterns and fight them for all we're worth. We see this very differently and that doesn't make me feel betrayed by you so I hope in time you can take our different perspectives less personally.
I am genuinely sorry you feel that way. That might be gaslighting if I owed you an apology for seeing the situation in the polar opposite way, but I don’t. You are the one being abusive because of a difference in perspective. Peter and I are real-life friends and I adore him but we don't need to be in lockstep on every issue and he's clearly okay with that too. You are certainly entitled to your feelings but this space never has and never will devolve into the vitriolic rhetoric we encounter on social media and everywhere else. If you can't respect that, I'll need to end your time in this community.
It's hardly fragility. It's setting boundaries for this space. Take care.